PAULA’S STORY
Gender: Female
Years In The Relationship: 12
Are You Still In The Relationship? No
What Is Your Age?: 49
Country: USA
My story began in 1981 when I had thought I met the man of my dreams. He had seemed to have everything going for him. What I did not count on was the alcohol, drugs and sexual addictions which added to his violent behavior and anger issues. These behaviors became more prominent as time passed and I found myself in a long term marriage with 5 children to care for in some of the most angry and hostile situations I could never have imagined. I saw my children abused, my body abused even while pregnant or otherwise, I was drugged while my ex husband put drugs into the pour spout of the coffee maker so that each time I made coffee I would be drugging myself. I thought I was dying. Sometimes I wish I was. I was threatened that I would be killed and it finally came to the point after many hospital visits that I drank a glass of orange juice laced with drugs that almost took my life. My life passed before my eyes as I drove myself to the hospital because he would not!
His intent was to kill me. I threw up the contents in my stomach, and at about 5am, finally unplugged monitors to go home and make sure my kids were safe. When I entered my home, my ex husband (husband at the time) was white as a ghost. He thought he had killed me! I told him that no one would take me out until God and I said it was time! I happen to meet a woman who ran a Christian women’s shelter for domestic violence which also housed children. This woman was a fellow minister and she let me know that when I felt ready to give her a call and they could "take care of it"!
I made that call after being locked in my room with my kids all night long in fear that our lives would be taken. The next morning after the call was made, 6 carloads of women showed up at my house and took myself, my children and as many of our personal things we could fit in cars and vans. They did this right under my husband’s nose! I was placed in a safe home with my children and walked through the process of litigating restraining orders, custody arrangements and divorce proceedings. Each time I went to court I had to have a support person there and a person from the sheriff’s department to walk me to my car. I was stalked, threatened and called and harassed literally for YEARS.
Yet time and time again I saw "earth angels" brought into my life who helped bring me through. Violence in the home begats violence in the community, the military, the political arena and in our world. We suffer from depression, suppression, post traumatic stress, anxiety disorders and children who seem to follow in the footsteps of anger prone behavior as they are attempting to heal the hurts that were silenced for so long. Domestic violence is a silent killer but the weapons of our warfare are information, exposure and our voices! I know there are many details left out of this short account, but trust me, I am a true survivor and fighter against this deadly social disease!
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